“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention
of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in sideways, martini in one hand, chocolate
in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out,
and screaming ‘WOO-HOO, WHAT A RIDE’.”

Thursday, November 25, 2010

My Story

I would love to say I will make this short but that's not my style :-).....

The worst part of anything is getting started and I am guilty of procrastination in starting this blog.......Why am I here? Part healing.....Part accountability......Part motivation.

As a private person, I had reservations about writing about my life for the world to see but I decided that the accountability would keep me on the path and possibly help others.

Here is a brief outline of My Story.

My name is Nate and I currently reside in Bluff City, TN (1 mile from Bristol Motor Speedway for you Nascar fans) I was a multi sport athlete in high school...I attended the University of TN and majored in weight lifting (12oz at a time) :-)......Of course thanks to beer busts and Krystal at 3am I gained 40lbs in 5 months......Over the course of the next 9 years my weight slowly creeped up to 290.....I also fought with depression and severe anxiety along the way.

In 1999 I was engaged to be married and decided it was time to lose weight.....I lost 90 lbs over the course of a year due only to changing my diet....I basically ate vegan with the exception of seafood 3 times a week....I was not working out but I felt great...Over the next 5 years I became very successful but at the expense of my marriage.

She left me 7 years ago on Christmas Eve....I went into a deep depression which I fueled with alcohol, cigarettes and pizza....Over the next 6 months I destroyed everything I had worked so hard to attain....business ventures.....relationships both friends and family...I spent the next couple of years in a volatile relationship still numbing my emotional problems with my vices.....Needless to say my weight had ballooned up to 260.

On Jan. 6, 2007, I met my soul mate.....the love of my life!!!! Our life together would have been something fairy tales are written about.....When we look into each others eyes it is magical!!! Unfortunately my struggles with my demons finally took it's toll.....I moved to Ft Lauderdale in Jan 2009 because I thought I needed a change when in reality I was running from my problems....from life...from myself.
Wine Over Water 10/4/08
Her:Hot   Me:Fat (270)

I feel that everything in life is a lesson and my time in Florida was definitely an experience.....I woke up on New Years Day 2010 with blood all over me not remembering much of the night before. (The picture above is of me (at 260) in the restaurant/bar I was a partner in and my bartender, Ellie).....Apparently I had gotten into a drunken brawl with my business partner's son.I knew it was time to make a change and get my life back on the right path.

I started riding my bike and walking on the beach....I made a decision to leave the restaurant because the environment was not conducive to positive change.....My Love and I started talking again and things seemed to be going much better.....Over the next few months she pulled away again....which I let affect me emotionally.

I planned to fly in to see her at the end of March which didn't work out.....We didn't speak for about 4 months when I made another decision to move back to my hometown in August.....I called her after I was in town for a few days.....We spent time together and all seemed well....until she pulled away again....We talked about this.....She loves me....She wants a future but she is scared....She needs to make sure I am going to stay the course.....I'm not making excuses for her....It is what it is......I want her beside me and she doesn't want to be hurt again......I can't control her actions and feelings.....All I can do is take care of me.....If you love something...let it go...if it comes back it's yours...if it doesn't it never was.

So where am I now? I have a goal of competing in a triathlon so I have been training (with occasional lapses) all year....I have been seriously focused for the last couple of months and sticking to my training plan.....I have lost 50lbs since Jan 1 and train on average 10 hours a week.

I just noticed I have on the same shirt in this picture as I did New Years.....lol....What's the chances?

Last month I was having a couple of "woe is me" days when I came across Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Team in Training program....This excited me very much and I just sent my paperwork in to be part of the Tennessee team for the Rev3 1/2 Ironman in Knoxville, TN on May15, 2011.....Now when I don't feel like running in the rain or riding that last 5 miles.....I think of the children fighting these terrible diseases and their strength and willpower....My aches and pains are nothing compared to their fight so I get my lazy ass out there and push it.....not for me but for them.

Now that I have caught you up to date.....I can quit procrastinating and post regularly.

My journey started several months ago but my chronicling of it has just begun.....I hope you enjoy the ride!

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